Purpose...
What was my purpose in coming to Japan?
To study? To meet new people? To be independent?
When I seriously think about it, I can tell you I'm not sure. Of course I want to get a good education and all. But that's it, if I wanted to get good education I could just go to Singapore, it's not that far from home, plus it's almost the same that you don't feel a difference.
Ever since I decided that I would come to Japan, it feels like I'm making a wrong but yet right choice. I was never that social and don't really have that many friends, but after deciding, meeting with friends proved to be hard even when I was in Malaysia. Now it's just bothersome to try cause our holidays doesn't match, I'm not in Malaysia, and other reasons.
I know, I know we meet new friends in our new environment, but I was never really good at making friends in the first place, and it took me a few years to get them. Plus we were from the same country, our language were the same, our common sense were the same. But here, it's really really different, how they think is different, the language is not something I can fully master in a year or two, and just sometimes the mentality really doesn't make any sense to me.
Maybe I'm just being a child, not knowing my luck, being able to come to Japan, a country lots of people would want to visit. But I have gotta say, living here and visiting here is different. I'm not saying I hate it here, I kinda like it here, and I'm also thankful for my parents. I'm just saying, being in the outside world is really scary and tiring. Being in the outside world away from the comfort of home is really more scary, tiring and also lonely.
So yeah, I'm not really sure what's this post got anything worth your time, but I'm glad that you finished reading it. This is one of those times where I have like deep but not that deep thoughts, but this doesn't happen often so expect many other much more positive posts! Bye and peace!
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