Little problems you get for living abroad

It's the middle of the night and I'm feeling all sorts of feels, so what better way to make my mind think straight than writing everything in my mind and post it all over the internet where everyone can see. Yeah, that's sounds like a good idea.

So this usually happens to me when I'm bored from the holiday and have way too much time on my hand that I overthink things. But since I've already started writing, allow me to finish and I wish you too would finish reading till the end.

There are actually a lot of little problems , all of them obviously are there to help you grow. But there are times when I just feel so overwhelmed that I just want to shut myself from the outside world and watch anime while eating ice cream. Which I'm currently doing, not the eating ice cream part though. Okay, on with the hardships that comes with the once in a life time chance to study abroad. I'm not going to label the normal things like being discipline and such though. So don't sweat.

Picture from : https://takefiveblog.org/2014/03/19/study-abroads-time-has-arrived/

1. To go home OR not to go home, that is the question

So I'm not sure about everyone but I do have this thought. I've actually voiced this to my mom so yeah... From Japan to Malaysia, the flight is about 7 hours and not to mention the trips that I have to make from where I'm living now to Tokyo and from KL to Alor Setar (my hometown). All of these are money that my father work really hard for. And for what reasons do I go back home for. Other than spending time with my family, I literally did nothing when I was back home in Malaysia last summer. I felt guilty that me coming home was a very welcome thing but equally straining for my dad. If I were to go back on big occasion like Chinese New Year than I will absolutely go back but other than that I rather we use that money on something else than me going back and not doing anything. This you could say that I'm cheap or something, but unless I too am working, or else I really feel back for going back just so I could live a much better live than what I'm living here. 

2. Identity Crisis

Again this could be me, but I do sometimes find myself having to tell myself, why am I'm thinking like a Japanese, I'm a Malaysian so even though I'm in another country my thinking should never waver that much. Learning the language and understanding a whole new culture really do open you up to new things. Which also lead to me having reverse culture shock when I when back to Malaysia. So just a few days ago, I was pissed at something, and when I talked it through with someone else, there were like why do you think like that, that's a very Japanese way of thinking. After thinking I was actually also kinda shock from my thinking. Even though I've been telling myself that I'm a Malaysian but there are times when I just switch into my Japanese mode unconsciously.

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About Unknown

Just a student studying in a University in Japan. Nothing more, nothing less.